Life is a Treasure Hunt ... I want to share with you all the 'treasures' I've found along the way throughout my professional career.Â So many wonderful words of wisdom from the seven countries I've lived.Â Moving true stories, many I've experienced first hand, I want to tell you 'all about it'.Â And lots of 'how to' do it just right - Communication Excellence is the Key. Â Of course, I'll share with you the 'latest' treasures I find in today's age: 'Information at your Fingertips'.
10 Cognitive Traps
- All or Nothing thinking You see things in black and white categories. Â If a situation is anything less than perfect, you see it as a total failure.
- Overgeneralization You see a single event as a never-ending pattern of defeat by using the words always or never when you think about it.
- Mental Filter You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively.Â One word of criticism erases all the praise youâve received.
- Discounting the Positive You reject positive experiences by insisting they âdonât count.âÂ If you do a good job, you tell yourself that anyone could have done as well.
- Jumping to Conclusions You interpret things negatively when there are no facts to support your conclusion.Â Two common variations are mind-reading - You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you. Â You use 'fortune-telling' - you assume and predict that things will turn out badly.
- Magnification You exaggerate the importance of your problems and shortcomings, or you minimize your desirable qualities.Â This is also called the binocular trick.
- Emotional Reasoning â You assume that your negative emotions reflect the way things really are: I feel guilty therefore I must be a rotten person.
- Should Statements â You tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or expected them to be.Â Many people try to motivate themselves with shoulds or shouldnâts, as if they had to be punished before they could be expected to do anything.
- Labelling â This is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking.Â Instead of saying âI made a mistake,â you attach a negative label to yourself: âIâm a loser.â
- Personalisation and Blame â You hold yourself personally responsible for events that arenât entirely under your control.
So take time to pay attention to your self-talk and if it feels a bit negative then do not take that as an opportunity to be hard on yourself but rather make a commitment to turning it around into something more positive.Â Decide today to speak to yourself with love, respect and joy.
from Harriet B. Braiker research
T.r.i.u.m.p.h.s. in Communication
For the next several weeks - you will learn the 8 steps (one each week) to be triumphant in all communication with your professional colleagues and clients and also with your family and friends. Â It's a sure fire way to have a Win Win situation with customers and even when youâre communicating with teenagers too ... really :) Â Each week, I want you to simply work on the one step and see how you will enjoy more harmonious communication.
T â Treat others with respect. Respect is defined as:Â acknowledging another's worth, holding in your attention, and behaving in a way that shows you're doing so even if the behavior goes unseen and no matter who sees.Â Showing respect is simple, have a genuine interested in what is being said.Â Respect will build rapport naturally. Rapport occurs when two or more people feel that they are in sync or on the same wavelength because they feel similar or relate well to each other.Â Itâs a thrill to me, I love âin syncâ moments, priceless!Â Sincere interest in others is divine.Â Itâs magic, if the other person is seated, youâll naturally find yourself wanting to set too.Â If the other person is standing, you feel to stand too. Â Youâll even notice your body wants to lean forward ever so slightly when youâre genuinely interested.Â Itâs fun to observe that in public places, you can tell whoâs into each other and who is not.Â Eye contact, itâs a must itâs comfortable and relaxed. Â You can kill all this by being interested in the distractions around you including your mobile phone.Â Please, put it on silence, I mean really, how rude is it, when you are more interested in your phone than the person in front of you.Â I guarantee you, that the message you are giving the person in front of you is ... âExcuse me, this call or text is more important than you, sorry!âÂ Doing so, is an instant way to lose rapport.Â So come on ... put your mobile phone on silent.
For one week, just try doing this, and see how you will triumph!Â Next week, you'll find out what the 'r' in Triumphs stands for ... until then, please be respectful to build rapport!
R â Reflect back what your client is telling you before you actually respond. The best way to understand a prospective client is to make sure you are listening carefully. The best way to do that is to reflect or paraphrase what you heard the person say before you comment on it.Â An example is, âWhat Iâm hearing is that you are not certain that this product will serve your needs.â
For one week, try âreflectingâ, and see how you will triumph!Â Next week, you'll find out what the 'i' in Triumphs stands for ... until then, please be respectful to build rapport!
I â âI statementsâ are powerful. As you paraphrase and reflect back what the client is saying, you can use âI statements,â which are very effective.
For example, âI am getting the feeling that you are uncomfortable with this product and would like some other options.âÂ To start with âYouâ would be much more instinctively threatening for the potential buyer.Â Imagine hearing, âYou donât like this product?âÂ Realize that understanding what the person is saying doesnât mean necessarily agreeing with them. You are simply showing that you are hearing their concerns.Â For example: âMy understanding from what you are saying is, your concerned because of your last experience with a similar product.Â Let me get more information for you so you can have a better understanding of the differences with this product.âÂ Always acknowledge the person and their concerns before assuming anything.
For one week, try using âI statementsâ, and see how you will triumph!Â Next week, you'll find out what the 'u' in Triumphs stands for ... until then, please be respectful to build rapport!
U â Understand the needs and goals of your client. If you are genuine and sell quality products that will truly satisfy your clientâs needs and desires, that person will trust you. That includes not selling him the most expensive product if you believe it is not right for her. Nothing earns trust more than being honest.
For one week, try âunderstandingâ your client needs and goals and pair him up with your âperfect matchâ product and/or service. Next week, youâll find out what the âmâ stands for ... until then, please be respectful to build rapport!
M â Monitor the tone and mannerisms of the prospective client. Body language is so important only a small percentage of what is âheardâ are words. Most of what we interpret is tone of voice, facial expressions, inflections, hesitations, etc. Watch for all of these indications of your clientâs mood and attitude. You might even wait for a moment to interpret what you sense after a client is done speaking.Â âI often, will say, âWhat I hear you are saying is ...âÂ And I paraphrase what I heard, giving the person a change to agree or better to clarify so I do understand.
For this week, really pay attention to the non-verbal communication of the people you are communicating with, be present and ask questions to see if you are understanding. Â Remember, itâs not what we say, itâs how we say it.
P â Probe gently and with respect. Your job is to try to understand what your prospective client needs and how you can accommodate those needs. The only way to show people that you have exactly the product to satisfy those needs is to ask gentle questions about their goals and hopes, as they relate to your product. An example is, âIf you could describe the ideal software to solve your business problems, what would you like it to do for you?â Take you time to ask the right questions to find out all you can; then and only then will you know whether or not you can be a benefit to your prospective customers. Â Alright now, for one week, focus on being interested in finding out all you can :))
H â Help your client feel safe in the conversation. For major purchases, such as insurance policies and annuities, clients need to feel safe discussing their specific money issues. Gently probing about personal and family situations that affect their pocketbook requires them being able to trust you. This entails ensuring confidentiality and showing genuine concern for their needs. If you expect them to share their biggest fears and insecurities, you must focus in on what theyâre saying, be sensitive, and assure them that you will help them to meet their goals.
S â Summarize. Youâd be amazed at how you can demonstrate your listening skills by frequently summarizing what you just heard. This will also help you to focus and remember what the speaker is telling you. If you hit the key points in your summary, the speaker will feel validated and closer to you. If you missed key points that he is trying to convey, he can inform you. Practice this with friends and family. Itâs easy to get the hang of it, and it really works!
I realised that while I am able toÂ easily love the people around me, I judge myself harshly and feel bad for when I'm less than perfect.
I realized the 'exceptance' is all powerful ... so ,I choose to except what is and stop with so many expectations. I choose to continue to love freely others and now I will also love myself! Â Good can only come from positive emotions.
Lets focus on being kinder to yourself and learn to forgive yourself and others for imperfections. Â Lets love 'what is' ... just the way it is! Â Love outwardly and Love inwardly! Â Love is the Answer in All things!
Can you feel the Love :))) xoxo!
I was sixteen and all fired up!Â It was my first summer job.Â I was a drug store junior assistant.Â Kresge was the name of the store located in the North Star Mall in San Antonio, Texas.Â Kresge later changed names to Kmart.Â The location of the drug store was unusual.Â North Star Mall was real fancy with stores like Frost Bros., Dillards, and many specialty shops.Â But, Kresge did real well selling to the mall shoppers---toothpaste, shampoo, tape, notebooks, toys, pantyhose, spot removers, eyeliners, powders, and much, much more.Â It was a Saturday morning and the mall was already busy.Â I was glad to see the crowds of people, for on this day I would be selling Ham Sandwiches in a little booth directly in front of the store.Â I was given a small refrigerator bend and a cash register.Â The sandwiches were rapped in plastic bags, six to a pack. The six pack price was $1.98.Â
It was ten oâclock in the morning, I was position behind the booth, I was ready to sell my first packet of ham sandwiches, and realised no one was even looking my way!Â I felt kind of stupid just standing there. . .some time past. . .Iâd sold no sandwiches.Â I was beginning to hate this first job!Â What could I do besides smile?Â I thought I would do what I had always done when I was bored. . .Entertain the audience!Â So, I thought fast. . .Iâd remembered some jingle from a commercial television commercial.Â âThatâs got to work better than just standing here.âÂ So, with my first crazy promo, I began to sell ham sandwiches. âOkay, folks, step right up, and get your âhammmmmmâ sandwiches, You can bake âem, shake âem, freeze âem, fry âem, serve âem. . .sliced, serve âem. . .diced, any way you like!Â Thatâs right folks, ham sandwiches. . .six for only $1.98!âÂ The people stopped to gather around to hear the crazy little sales girl selling her ham sandwiches.Â I remember one man said, âYou know Honey, I donât even like ham. . .but, go ahead and sell me some!â The managers of Kresge loved it!Â I sold a little over six hundred sandwiches in four hours.Â The deli ladies couldnât make enough to kept up!Â Needless to say, I sold ham sandwiches every weekend that summer. . .
7 Ways to Keep Your Customers Coming Back - Tami Smith
1. Make it easy to buy ... make it Fun!
Make it easier to buy from you than from your competitor.Â Offer many payment choices: cash, cheque, major credit cards, or direct deposit. If you offer online sales, try ordering something from competitorsâ websites - how may clicks did it take?Â What did you find irritating about the process? Can you come up with something easier and quicker
2. Why should your Customers Comeback
Be it a gift, a freebie, a discount, special financing, or a chance to win a competition, customers come back for incentives. Many businesses make successful use of loyalty cards, bonus points, sales previews for existing customers only, or other incentives. What can you offer?Â Donât let them walk out the door with no real reason to come back?Â Thereâs a lot of competition out there, that are waving fan fair to attract your customers, what are you going to do?
3. Stand behind your products and services
Stand behind your product and reap the rewards for doing so. If your customers canât rely on you, they won't come back.Â Turn around a negative situation, and you have a customer for life!
4. Really Listen
What your customers tell you is everything you need to know, listen, learn and do something now about it.Â When you have an angry customers, theyâre your best tool to improve your services. Thank goodness theyâre telling you what you need to know, now do something about it!Â
5. Thereâs always room for Improvement
Outstanding service keeps customers loyal.Â Train well your staff to sort out minor issues on the spot.Â Keep customers fully informed of any delays.Â Do more than you promised.Â How can you excite and incite your customers? Delivering Knock Your Socks Off Service is an awesome book.
6. Customer Contact
Customers may leave if they feel neglected. How often do you contact your customers? Whenâs the last time you called a good customer to thank them?Â Do you care?Â You should - your customers are your revenue - Love Them!
7. Top Customers are Family
Know your top customers and treat them well.Â Your top 20% of your customers probably contribute 80% of your sales. What special attention and privileges do you offer to these customers?
Someone Once Said ...
Don't go for looks; they can deceive.Â Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; â¨be what you want to be, because you have only one life â¨and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
May you have â¨enough happiness to make you sweet, â¨enough trials to make you strong, â¨enough sorrow to keep you humble, â¨enough hope to make you happy. â¨Â â¨The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of â¨everything; they just make the most of everything that â¨comes along their way.
This exercise is my all time favorite!Â When making important decisions, I remember my values I've selected from this exercise, so I make the right decisions for me.Â Now you can learn what values are important to you, so you too will make the right choices!
Your personal value system consists of the inner rules you use to run your life. Your values create boundaries for systematically making choices and decisions.Â Some values are more important to you than others.Â Clarifying and prioritizing your values is essential for decision-making and conflict resolution.Â When you complete this, you will be able to clearly state your boundaries and easily set priorities.
Focus on whatâs important to you---not on what you should do or be, or what you would like to be.
Put marks by twelve values that you feel most strongly about. . .high light your top five values!
Achievement (a sense of accomplishment, surmounting obstacles, solving problems)
Advancement (opportunity to improve and advance, upward mobility, promotions)
Adventure (challenging experiences, trailblazing, excitement, risking into the unknown, enterprising)
Aesthetics (sensitivity to beauty, artistic expression, pleasant environments, sensuality, harmony)
Compensation (economic security, equitable payment or wages)
Creativity (being imaginative, innovative, curious, playful, expressive, indulging in fantasy)
Discipline (self control, selectivity-training self to excel through determination and commitment)
Fame (being famous or well known)
Family Happiness (relatives relating together, fellowship, sense of belonging, sense of community)
Foresight (ability to anticipate the future, pro-active know-how to take action before something happens)
Freedom (mastery of Self, ability to choose whatever I want for myself, spontaneity, being a free spirit)
Friendship (intimacy, close relationships, interdependence, partnership, involvement)
Health (full sense of vitality-body, mind &spirit, freedom from physical disease, balanced living)
Independence (liberating Self from the control of others, self-reliance, empowerment)
Inner Harmony (being at peace with Self, self-acceptance, not being in conflict within Self, joy, serenity)
Integrity (honesty, being my Real Self, standing up for my beliefs, ethical commitment, frankness, honor)
Love (caring, compassion, empathy, sensitivity, affection, tenderness, kindness)
Loyalty (steadfast, faithful, maintaining firm allegiance to whatever one is bound to by duty or promise)
Order (conformity, organization, structure, focus, stability, obedience, economizing, saving)
Personal Development (commitment to learning and growing, pushing limits to utilize potential)
Pleasure (satisfaction, enjoyment, fun, happiness, humor, playfulness, meaningful experiences)
Power (control, authority, influence over other people, forceful)
Prosperity (material wealth, affluence, plentiful, feeling rich, having what I need when I need)
Quality (craftsmanship, excellence, valuable, First class, having real worth)
Recognition (appreciation, respect, acknowledgment, status, respect for quality of my work/contribution)
Responsibility (accountable for results, reliable, trustworthy, liable)
Security (protected, safe, free from dangerâable to feel safe from fear, worry and uncertainty)
Self Respect (respect for all life, valuing Self, dignity, pride, sense of personal identity and purpose)
Service (contributing to the betterment of self, others and society, providing useful labor)
Spirituality (strong belief in God or Higher Power, sacredness, reverence, being spirited)
Variety (diversity of activities and people, experiencing multiple options and choices)
Wisdom (common sense, great understanding of life, wise, knowledge beyond intellect)
Now write the top five onto 3 x 5 cards with the common statements below the Value
Then group the other seven picked values onto the back of your top five cards by seeing the relationship between the values
Congratulations. . .You know your values. . .all your decisions will be in alliance!
7 Cs of Success
Clarity - 80 percent of success comes from being clear about who you are, what you believe in and what you want.
Competence - You canât climb to the next rung on the ladder until you are excellent at what you do now.Â Practice makes perfect . . . not true.Â Perfect practice makes perfect.
Constraints â 80 percent of all obstacles to success come from within.Â Â Â Â Â Find out what is constraining in you or your company and deal with it.
Concentration â The ability to focus on one thing and see it through until itâs done.Â Great athletes are notorious for their concentration and focus.Â
Creativity â Be open to ideas, opinions, and possibilities . Surround yourself with creative and interesting people.Â Creativity needs to be exercised just like your muscles.Â If you donât use it - youâll lose it.
Courage â is the willingness to do the things you know are right. Courage, contrary to popular belief, is not the absence of fear but in fact it is the heartÂ Â Â Â Â to act in spite of fear.Â
Continuous Learning â Set aside time every day, every week and every month to improve yourself. Never stop learning, it is the excitement of life.
Trade Shows Are A Gold Mine Of Buyers
This is a 'hidden' gem in selling. Trade shows can actually be one of the most effective selling channels you can use, and this can be done in 2 ways.
Firstly, as an exhibitor where the attendees and prospective buyers visit you, or secondly as an attendee where you look for new contacts, agents and wholesalers amongst the exhibitors.
The reason why trade shows are so effective is simple . . . nowhere else can you see so many owners and heads of companies under the one roof, easily accessible to you and all the other participants, and you meet people face to face, where otherwise you'd struggle for months to make contact within the normal course of business.
I met the owners of several multi-million dollar businesses at the âInfomercial Conferenceâ. I'd otherwise have had a hard time in contacting and meeting them.
It is very important to follow up after a trade show and to keep following up. If you don't follow up, you will waste your time attending trade shows, as research shows that itâs after the show when the bulk of the business is done.
The Busy Addiction
Are you in the F-State - Frenzied, Fearful, Forgetful, and Frantic?
How can being busy shorten my life?Â You are always on a hamster wheel?
Risk for heart attack, shock, or cancers and even frequent common colds is a sign - your life is too busy.Â Being busy is just bad for your health altogether.Â
Is there proof our modern busy lifestyle is dangerous?
Anxiety disorders are on the rise and accidents are increasing.Â Sadly a lot of people are not enjoying life, they're doing a lot but they're not enjoying what they're doing, like they use to.Â Â
What are the three biggest dangers of an overloaded schedule?
1. You're not going to get done what you really want to get done.
2. You're not going to get to do the things you really enjoy.
3. You're going to get sick
What are the top reasons to slow down?
To Enjoy your Life.Â Â Â Â Â You'll âDo It' Better - You'll be more Successful
What are the three best ways to break your addiction to being busy?
1. TURN IT OFF - Mobile phone and your Laptop - Disconnect.Â I'm not saying get rid of them - but turn them off when you're having lunch with a friend.
2. Set Your Boundaries - we broken down all the boundaries, we've made ourselves available 24/7...Don't Be - Set Time Aside for YOU and the Ones You Love.
3. Get More Exercise - You'll Feel better and be in a better frame of mind to plan your schedule better.
More Information - www.drhallowell.com
Great Advise for the Joy of Life
ToÂ BE the person you want to be you have to DO the things that person would do and then you can HAVE what it is that you desire.
BEING the person you want to be before you are that person though is the challenge! Because if you don't FEEL like that person then you aren't going to DO what you need to do and hence you won't HAVE what it is you want.
The best way to BEING the person you want to be is to use your imagination. Vividly imagine yourself as that person already. See it, feel it, believe it!
This week create a new habit and take the time DAILY to imagine BEING the person you dream of becoming and before you know it you will BE that person.
Focus on Positives
The whole world is aware of the container ship "Rena" stranded onÂ a reefÂ only 20 kilometers from our beautiful Mt Maunganui and Papamoa shoreline. As a local resident it is absolutely heartbreaking to see the oil on our beautiful beaches.
ThisÂ environmental catastrophe made me realise the importance of focusing on the positives of any situation. What we think about we attract. Mother Theresa would never march in an anti-war demonstration, but she would always march for peace.
For us in the Bay of Plenty it is important that we keep our focus on the positive. We need to campaign for a clean, green, New Zealand. We need to keep our thoughts on pristine white sandy beaches and a healthy ocean with healthy sea life. We need to treasure the beauty we have in our environment and take positive action to restore it.
This week, if you are facing a negative situation - try and focus on the positive. Keep your mind firmly on what it is you want and not on what you don't want. Take action towards the positive and remember that the Law of Attraction always gives you what you focus on - negative or positive.